Would You Like a Bite?

Every morning I start my day with a small bowl of Muesli. I have suffered all my life from a ‘Dairy’ intolerance so I pour my orange juice over the cereal. On the side I have a dish with 3 apricots, 5 dates and 2 figs. This means that I have four full portions of fruit before I leave the breakfast table. At elevenses time I am usually to be found doing chores, so for my break I have something easy, quick and simple. Fast food comes into its own here.

A Banana!

I remember learning at school that bananas were the second most perfect food, milk being the first.

It is a very long time since I was at school, and the milk in those days was not attacked by all the modern additives, chemicals, procedures etc. In fact I remember from my holidays in Sligo the milk-man coming every evening straight from the dairy with the milk in large cans still warm. If I think about it for a few minutes I can actually smell it! For those who can tolerate it, I wonder how healthy milk is nowadays.

Now back to my fast food:

Bananas are available in every Supermarket or fruit and vegetable shop. All you have to do is peel and eat. The skin can be returned to the earth via the compost bin and not clutter up the landfill sites, so there is no waste. We can also do so many other things with Bananas like adding them to Smoothies, make bread, Banoffee Pie and Knickerbocker Glories to name but a few.

This morning I heard something to really make me sit up and think! A lady from Zimbabwe was interviewed on the radio. She was talking of how difficult things are there at the moment.

One Banana today costs four times the price she paid for her four bed-roomed house seven years ago.

I really savoured every bite of my elevenses this morning.

Grafton Street’s a Wonderland….

A lady was walking down Grafton Street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of Euro for food.

The woman took out her purse, produced €50 and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some chocolate with it instead of dinner?"

"No," I had to stop chocolate years ago, the homeless woman replied.

Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.

"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this at the Hairdresser’s instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your hubby be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty well disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hairdresser appointments, and chocolate.

My House Guest

The Average Person

While listening to Woman’s Hour on BBC Radio 4 this morning I discovered this mind blowing titbit. ‘The average person spends 31 years dieting’. That is more than half the time I have spent on this earth. I would hate to be restricted to say – cabbage for one week and pineapple the next. I am far too fond of my food for all that rubbish. My mother believed that we should clear our plates and with the food she cooked we had no bother complying.

I remember one school day as lunchtime approached and our thoughts turned to hot food and going home (mind you in those far off days we called it dinnertime) my chum asked me what day it was. She knew by the day of the week what was on the menu at home. I thought that this was crazy because we never knew until we reached the front door and a ‘Bisto Kid’ style aroma met us and made us drool! Friday was the only exception when we had fish. This varied with the season and it was still a surprise for us. The only things we knew for certain were that Terry Wogan graced the airways of RTE on a Wednesday with Hospitals Requests or that the Kennedys of Castle Ross had a twice weekly spot.

During my early working life I discovered a colleague who lived with her parents and her mother dished up steak one day and chops the next. They were all she knew how to cook. My friend was the youngest of four and at least in her middle thirties. So her mother had only ever cooked two dishes for over forty years!

Back on the topic of diets then… Recently I read where a lady was Slimmer of the Year’, not sure whether it was Weight Watchers or Uni-Slim. This woman had lost NINE STONE (126lbs). That is as much as I weigh! Imagine losing a whole person!! I am only 130lbs now even after gravity, child birth, and the ravages of time have taken their toll. Dairy products do not agree with me but apart from that I eat everything put in front of me, especially when at The Cellar Restaurant, in Ballycastle. Just ask my Sin-in-Law if you don’t believe me.

So I am not average. Mind you I never was. I was a size ‘0’ long before it was thought of. Unlike today I was rather ridiculed for being so thin, sorry skinny was the word used. I was called drip-dry, drink of water and much worse as I grew up. Later after I married my husband told me many times that my muscles were like sparrows kneecaps! This he did with a twinkle in his eye and never meant any harm. We were able to laugh both with and at each other on many an occasion.

I feel sorry for young girls today where TV, cinema and magazines all portray the skeletal figure as beautiful. There is nothing beautiful about it at all. A few curves are so much better, more cuddle-able, make clothes hang well and I can tell you keep you warmer in this very cold weather.

Right middle age spread I am ready and waiting…