Saturday, April 07, 2007

Urgent Help Needed

Nancy where are you? We have not heard from you for such a long time. I am really getting worried because ‘my new best friend’ Granny has not appeared for several days. That ‘ould codger’ Grandad said she had the flu but we all know he is a very jealous man….. He is fighting with Twenty and worse still using ‘Twenty’s’ dreadful language.

Since Granny & Offspring have started to blog he has really tipped over the edge. He claims that Bertie Aheron is digging holes in the lane near his house. In this frame of mind anything is possible.

Is there any chance Nancy of you contacting your friend ‘GW’ and arranging a team of spies to come over and suss things out?

Dario while you have a long weekend to yourself run up the mountain and have a little snoop about. If you ask nicely John of Dublin might bring his camera

Check out the pigsty and the hen house and then make sure Granny is not trussed up and bundled into the hayloft.

I suppose there is a chance she has locked herself away for some peace to get on with her creative writing. She should have come to stay with me as the only men allowed here are toy-boys and I would keep them well away from her! ;)

Now listen Boys, you better watch out as tiddles is on the loose!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Grannymar, If you would like me to, I could contact the 193rd Special Operations Wing Command of the PA Air Guard here and have them pop over with an AWACS airplane and find out where Tiddles is heading and if Herself is at home or in the garden shed.

grannymar said...

Brian that would be wonderful!

Can the planes fly on silent like mobile phones can? We don't want to put Grandad on his guard.

He might start shooting madly at them or worse still try to smoke them out with his pipe!!

Brian Damage said...

The heron has taken Granny hostage. Grandad is currently lying on his roof with a surface-to-air missile.
Twenty is looking down at us all with a smirk on his face and a Sunday Tribune journo in his pocket in the Pantheon of the Immortals.
JoD was ambushed coming into Cavan to collect me for the perilous trek. Last I saw, some gents in hoodies were carrying him off.
I am preceding on foot. If Grandad shoots at me and they put me on a stamp, tell them to use the young Dario.

grannymar said...

Dario did you get a good look at the surface-to-air missile? Was it a sling?

With Twenty out of the way Grandad’s language might improve.

Poor JoD a harmless fella like him, I hope he brought his tennis racquet with him; he could use to whack the hoodies.

Any sign of tiddles?

Has Brianf arrived with the AWACS airplane yet?

Travel carefully, you are far too young to go on a stamp, but if it comes to that I will make sure it’s a First Class one!

Brian Damage said...

Yeah, it probably was a slingshot. My eyesight's not too good at range.

Brian got stopped by the National Guard and is currently having a few beers with America's 91st Line Of Defence.

Don't worry about JoD, he's probably enjoying some quality 'smoke' right now with the boys from East Cavan.

Thanks, your lobby to have me put on a stamp is genuinely touching. *sniff* There's still some good in the world.

Anonymous said...

Yiz rotten shower of traitors.

All I'm trying to do is clear my name, and you start to send the USAF in against me. And everyone knows they couldn't hit a barn door if the were standing beside it.

Herself is fine, but indisposed. You can try and 'rescue' her if you like, but there will be a lot of bloodshed. She gets quite violent if disturbed.

As for my 'language' - one must fight fire with fire, and this seems to be the only language that fella understands. Anyway, he is out of the way now, and I have to spend the rest of the day washing the blood off Tiddle's chin.

If Dario is turned into a stamp, please make it the self-adhesive type. I refuse to lick the back of his head.

grannymar said...

Granny is still alive!

I suppose Grandade will be spending the morning making Beef Tea for her. It takes hours so he will be out of mischief for the duration.

Thanks lads for all the help, you can all have the rest of the weekend off.

Dario the stamp offer is on hold for thr moment

Brian Damage said...

No! My hubris!

Anonymous said...

Hey you don't have to be mean to the U.S.A.F. I called the RAF first but they claimed not to know where Ireland is so I had to call the Chair Force, oops I mean Air Farce, no that's not it...The guys who fly the planes....