oldbones

Are You still here?

2007-08-09T14:11:00.000+01:00

Hi followers,

I hope that you are not missing out on the fun.

I have moved over to Grannymar.com/blog where the party never stops.

Come on over and take a pew, have your say, sing a song or dance a jig.

I might have a new home but it is the same old Grannymar.

See you soon.

Moving to a New Home

2007-07-26T15:34:00.000+01:00

An acquaintance of mine was chatting away one night and somehow the conversation turned to making plans. She told us that her dad sat the family down every ten years to review the past, list achievements and plan for the next decade. Now I do like to make changes from time to time, but it is more at landmark stages in life than every ten years.

At the end of June my life changed forever. My Elly married George and together they set out on the road of a new stage of their lives and destinies. I hope with the eventuality of gradualness they might increase and multiply. No doubt when that happens I will become the most proud yet boring Grannymar in the Universe. You will of course be the first to know all about it!

In the meantime I needed to find a new focus for my time and energies. I have the time but alas the energy has a mind of its own. I tried chasing Toy-boys, but they ran far too fast for me. There was no hope of me catching up and all I got for my efforts were a hot flush and breathlessness.

So to mark the start of this new era for me I have decided on a face lift. No little tuck here, and little pull there for me, thank you, it is all or nothing! A total new look and image is what I am after something fresh, clean and timeless. So pop on over and take a look:

http://www.grannymar.com/blog

…and while you are there I might even make you a coffee.

Now let me know what you think of my new look.

I love the line at the bottom 'Grannymar is proudly powered by WordPress '. I certainly need someone to power me up these days!!!

If you follow me via RSS, then don’t forget to update your feeds:

Posts: http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?feed=rss2

Comments: http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?feed=comments-rss2

P.S. remember to take note of my new address for future use:

http://www.grannymar.com/blog

Education

2007-07-25T11:08:00.000+01:00

A young farm lad from North Kerry went to study at University in Dublin, but about one month into the first term, he had foolishly squandered away all of the allowance his parents gave him.

Then he had an idea. He called his daddy. "Dad," he said, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education is coming up with! Why, they actually have a course here at college that will teach our dog Blackie how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "Do you think I might get him enrolled on the course?"

"Just send him up here to me with €1,000" the boy says. "I'll get him into the course. So, his father sends the dog and the €1,000.

About 6 weeks later, the money ran out again. The boy called his father again.

"So how's Blackie doing, son," his father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this course that they've started a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that course?"

Just send €2,500, I'll get him in the class. His father sends the money.

The boy now has a problem. The Christmas holiday was approaching, his father would find out that the dog could neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home for the holiday, his father is all excited.

"Where's Blackie? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some bad news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Blackie was in the living room reading the Irish Times, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, ‘is your daddy still messing' around with that little redhead who lives in Tralee?'

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that F*ck*r before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

I am sure that young lad will go far!

If you still need to be convinced…

2007-07-23T15:51:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I was on about my difficulties with the English language.
Here are some more examples to mull over:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

9) I did not object to the object.

10) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

11) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

12) They were too close to the door to close it.

13) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

14) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer.

15) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

16) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

17) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

18) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

19) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

20) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

What are you UP to?

2007-07-22T18:08:00.000+01:00

About two months ago I was buzzed on Skype by a gentleman from Italy. He asked if I had a few minutes to talk to him. It was a dull, boring wet day so I agreed to talk for five minutes or so. He told me his name, where he lived and what he did for a living. Then he asked several questions which I answered without giving away any information.

“Now it is my turn” I said, “Why did you pick me?” He said he looked for an English speaker in the UK and my name came up top of the list. I had a go at that one, I tried several countries, and the list showed up each time in alphabetical order. Now on Skype I do not use either my own name or Grannymar, let me just say the one I use would come after the word Skype on the list! (One day all these names will be a problem as I won’t remember who I am supposed to be!) Again I queried this with Romano Italiano. He assured me he was genuine and asked if I would help him with his English! Now my father always warned me about fellows inviting me to see their etchings, but never anything about helping them with their English! Anyway Romano Italiano was over there in Italy and surely no harm could come to me at this distance. He asked if I had a Webcam, which I don’t, and then he asked and wanted to be assured I was over 18 years of age. He had a webcam and used it so that I was able to see him speak. He has a good voice, pleasing face but seems a very serious chap who seldom smiles!

So what do I do? I was never a teacher. My spelling and grammar are woeful as you all know, so how do I get round this one?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are chocolates or toffees while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

What hope have I when there is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP?"

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the politicians UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, queue UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is bunged UP. We open UP a shop in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! If you wish to be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost ¼ of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP

I could go on and on, but I'll finish UP, because my time is UP, so........... it is time to shut UP....!

Oh . . . one more thing:

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?

U-P

Style

2007-07-19T18:49:00.000+01:00

My father worked in the Rag-trade. That for the uninitiated is Dublin slang for the clothing business. He had agencies for several Irish, English and Continental Fabrics manufacturers. It was a world of great colour. Fabrics of all kinds were to be seen in our house because that is where my dad had his office. I was always aware of the 'New Colours' a year ahead of them being available. Twice yearly when the new ranges were introduced, each sample had to be numbered and recorded in his ‘little black book’. It was way before Pc’s and laptops. My mother and I were always roped in to help with this work. At times it took three or four evenings to complete the task.

The samples were packed in suitcases that dad delivered to a customer, a couple of days later he collected the cases and hopefully an order. That night the cases were emptied and the samples were refolded and sorted before passing them on to the next customer.

His customers were many and varied, from top Irish Designers to more household names in the Clothing Business. When my father was out my mother or I manned the phone. I became very familiar with the names, voices and characters of designers and manufacturers. I seldom needed to ask them either their name or phone number. Occasionally my father brought me with him on his calls. I had the opportunity to meet many creative people in those years. They were pleased that I remembered them on the phone and made me very welcome.

On occasions they might want to show my father how a fabric looked when it was made up into a garment. Since I was a size 8UK/6US, the size used to make up samples, I was asked to try an outfit on and ‘walk up the floor’. I still remember trying on a brightly coloured trouser suit in a ‘Raj’ style. The trousers were lined and had the zip to the front like men’s slacks. I was more used to buying trousers with the zip at the side. I remarked on these things and was told in a lovely gentle way that a zip should never be inserted in a side seam because it would upset the balance and look of a ladies hip line. The lining was so that the fabric would not rub a lady’s tender legs. That was long before jeans became a regular fashion item.

From those early days I was particular about how clothes fitted and when I brought home a purchase, my father was the one to look it over and pass comments about it. Regularly I was told to ‘Put it on and walk up the floor’. He often teased me about how much they paid me to take an item off the shelf! Mostly he agreed that the clothes that I picked suited me.

I was always comfortable in trousers and have been known to turn out for work wearing them with a shirt and tie. Forty years ago dinner dances were all the go. The men wore ‘Black Tie’ and ladies wore long dresses. I was fond of sewing and made a new dress for each dance.

I remember one particular occasion in the months before I met Jack. The Company I worked for was having a large formal bash. I was undecided whether to go or not, when a colleague and I were asked if we would make up a party with some chaps on secondment from Scotland. A blind date, it would be a first for me, so why not. We made arrangements for all our party to gather and meet at a friend’s house. On the evening in question we girls arrived early to have a drink, a giggle, apply the paint and get dressed for the evening.

The invitations said ‘Black Tie’ and I arrived so dressed! Well I wore black trousers, with a white silk shirt and a bow tie. Over this I had a tailcoat that had belonged to my father. It fitted me well and suited me, even if I say so myself. I had a small weekend case with my dress in it. The girls were so surprised to see what I was wearing that they forgot about my case. I had them convinced that I was dressed and ready and each time the doorbell rang I went to open the door. My garb was the best ‘ice- breaker’ ever and a real talking point. When we were ready to leave I excused myself and quickly changed into my dress. It was just as well it was a crease free fabric!

The whole party were disappointed that I had changed into a dress and they told everyone at the function of my earlier outfit. I was almost sent off to change back into the tailcoat.

Fashion

2007-07-18T19:07:00.000+01:00

Now at sixty I have watched fashion come and go over five decades. The first 10 years do not count as I was a child for most of it and wore the clothes my mother provided and told me to wear. Unlike nowadays we were not given a choice and indeed wore items for several consecutive days.

I love to sit with a coffee or a drink and ‘People Watch’. On a fine day it is something I can do for hours. The world is a wonderland of colour shape and diverse styles. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but fashion is certainly in the mind of the wearer! Nowadays we live in a world where ‘Anything goes’ seems to be the mantra. It is not something I am comfortable with. To quote a line from The Mountains of Mourne, a Percy French song – “You could not in truth say if they were bound for a ball or a bath” When this song was written it referred to the ladies in London, nowadays it might refer to either sex of any age, in any place.

I suppose I would divide people into the following groups:

Those who drag themselves out of bed in the morning and clamber into the creased bundle they dropped on the floor the previous night.

Those who dress because they have to, but with no interest of how they look or if colours clash.

Those who take pride in how they look.

Those who dress to draw attention to themselves.

For a moment compare it to two presents on a table. One roughly wrapped in wrinkled newsprint and the other carefully wrapped in gift-wrap finished with a nice bow. If you were given a choice which one would you choose?

Men have no problem is showing interest in how ladies look as they walk along the street. They show appreciation in wolf whistles, smiles and long lingering looks. In fact on occasions they have been known to bump into a tree, lamppost or someone walking towards them because they have become so enthralled or distracted by a vision of desire walking past them.

Over the years I have watched from the sidelines:

The women who slavishly follow fashion whether or not it suits them. They are prepared to spend a fortune on this season’s look, even when it makes them look, bigger, fatter and older or like mutton dressed as lamb.
Those ‘larger’ women who think that anything black and unstructured makes them look thinner, when a tailored outfit would cut the pounds in seconds.
Those who spend some time in dressing, doing make-up etc., forgetting to give the back view a glance. If you get a split down the back of your hair while sleeping, it will NOT go away until you wash your hair!
The women, who have found their own style, are comfortable and stick with it, always looking well, whether they are thirty or eighty.
The women who think that showing off all they have is sexy, when in fact it is actually a turn off.

Now that I have joined the Third Age it does not mean I have lost interest in how men look. Like women’s fashions men’s have changed beyond all recognition from when I was growing up. In my young days men wore a suit, shirt and tie. I know because I grew up in a household with five men and washed, starched and ironed plenty of shirts. The suits in those days were all dark and the majority of shirts were white.

I still think a nicely fitting, well pressed suit looks sexy. But please remember to polish those shoes, the heel as well as the toes. Casual slacks and a sports jacket with an open necked shirt, looks good too. But please, please make sure the trousers are the correct length and not full of concertina folds where they meet your shoes, that just kills the whole effort.

Now I have a major gripe! If you are a well fed guy and show signs of a liking for the beer, avoid at all costs the long- shorts or cut-offs, you know the ones, they reach below the knees, worn with a tee-shirt pulled down over them. These are the fastest turn off ever! They do not hide the paunch only emphasise it. I have even seen them worn with shoes and socks!!!! And these men expect us to find personality behind that lot, forget it guys. It is a major No-no.

My final point is about fashion for pre and pubescent young girls. I know that the fashion industry and peer pressure weigh heavily on what they wear. While in a shop attached to a busy petrol station one day towards the end of term, I saw a young school girl with her uniform skirt hitched up to within inches of modesty. Her mother was in the queue to pay for petrol and sent the young lady to pick up some items from the far end of the shop. This young girl nicely formed and a beauty in the making was completely unaware of the effect she was having on several men in the queue. One of the men was obviously mentally undressing her and taking pleasure in the exercise. I thought for a brief moment of saying something to the mother, I decided against it as I might be considered as an interfering old woman and a prude, and if she became aggressive it might draw even more attention to her daughter.

We think its all over...

2007-07-12T17:47:00.001+01:00

How would you like this on your doorstep?

Today is the 12^th July, a major holiday in Northern Ireland where Loyalists hold Orange Order marches across the country. They are preceded each year on the 11^th night with thousands of tyres being set ablaze during loyalist celebrations of the Battle of the Boyne. It is a tradition that has gone on for years and can prove contentious and in fact dangerous for those who live nearby.

The pictures were taken from today’s Daily Mail.

I’m Emigrating..

2007-07-12T17:05:00.000+01:00

While reading Baino’s Banter today I smiled at all the items in her treasure trove. For years I collected small items that reminded me of people rather than places. I would never be considered a ‘Hoarder’. In fact Jack told me that my mother warned him before he married me ‘Not to stand in the one place for too long or I might throw him out!’

I returned from a Wedding in Cape Cod a few years ago on a cold November day. When I unlocked the front door I was met by a stream of paperwork, clothing and belongings stretching right through the house. The back door (Aluminium Double glazed) was lying open and the frame was damaged and hacked to bits. It was not something that could have been done quietly or with speed.

The thieves were selective and took only items that were of value including jewellery, several pieces that were antique, and for me priceless & un-replaceable. They all had a story attached to them and brought loved ones close to me when I touched or wore them. I have not replaced them and decided that the jewellery I was wearing would be my signature tune from that day on. After all we can only wear one item at a time. Why leave things around for someone else to steal.

It took a couple of months to sort things out with the insurance company, but much longer to get over the fact that someone had been through my clothes and personal items. I still have to stop myself walking from room to room when I come into the house on a dark winter’s day.

My enforced holiday in hospital recently has made me reflect and think about my life. I have decided to yet again sort out my belongings and clear out anything that is not needed. The loft area was done years ago and is now only custodian to the Christmas tree and decorations. There might be one box of ‘Elly’s early life’. One school book from each year and several projects she worked on, a school crest etc.

So what is this about emigrating? Let me explain. Some years ago a friend called while I was doing a big clear out. “What are you up to” she asked. I told her I was immigrating to Australia and therefore clearing out all the things I no longer needed. She almost believed me. Since then when I need to do a clear out, I tell myself that I am on the move.

So now Elly is married and beginning a new stage in her life. It is only right and normal that she should be allowed to do so. As I have said so often, I gave her life and not a life sentence, therefore I move back a few steps from her and allow her to get on with marking out her new role. My life is also beginning a new phase, with the realisation that once again I stand alone. There will be many new challenges ahead for me and I look forward to discovering what they are.

Meanwhile would anyone like this tuning fork...

Wise old Man….!

2007-07-10T12:07:00.000+01:00

Grandad and Granny went away for a few days last month. He told us they went to a small comfortable hotel in the west. Part of that story was true, they did go to the west but it was a camping holiday.

After they got their tent all set up, both Granny & Grandad fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Granny wakes Grandad and says, "St James’s Street tonight, look up to the sky; what do you see?"

Grandad replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" asked Granny.

Grandad scratches his head and ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Granny?"

"You are dumber than K8’s dog. Someone has stolen our tent."

Mr ‘O’

2007-07-09T12:25:00.000+01:00

Mr ‘O’ owned the local newsagents on the avenue where I grew up. The actual shop was very small; in fact eight customers were about all it would hold at any one time. Mr ‘O’ was super efficient and nobody had to wait very long to be served. In the evenings and at weekends he was joined by Mrs ‘O’. She helped to look after the customers. When they retired about five years ago the other shopkeepers and most of the older, by which I mean long time, residents threw a street party in honour of his long and faithful service.

The shop was once half of a double fronted establishment at the end of a block of about 10 shops with a Cinema half way along the row. It had been divided before Mr ‘O’ bought it. The other half became Mr Mc’s grocery business. That’s a story for another time.

The window was about waist high with a narrow shelf on the inside. It was closed on the inside to the customers and could only be viewed from the outside. It was not a window to linger over as all the goods and personalities were inside the shop. Window dressings 50 years ago were few and simple. Crepe paper lined the shelf and on it were displayed Bars of Cadbury’s Milk Chocolate that in fact were blocks of wood, covered in the foil and wrappers. Boxes of Chocolates such as Mackintoshes Double Centres, Black Magic, Milk Tray or Fruit Jellies were on show. These boxes were only empty cartons; it was just as well because the shop was on the sunny side of the street.

There was a counter 3ft (91cms) high and about 7ft (214cms) long. It ran the length of the shop with a small gap to allow the staff to come out onto the
shop-floor or go into the miniscule store at the back. The first 18 inches from the window end was the children’s corner. You could stand here and look over the counter for an hour or longer with your large old penny burning a hole in the palm of your hand deciding what to spend it on.

Displayed on shelves along the wall behind the counter were what seemed like a wonderland of dentist’s delights from different toffee bars, gob stoppers lucky bags and various sweets including Fruit Salad, Blackjacks, Lollipops, Dolly Mixture, Bubblegum, Liquorice Allsorts, Midget Gems, Liquorice Sticks, Aniseed
Balls, Sugared Almonds and Wine Gums.

Next to this space stood a weighing scales. Along the front of the remainder of the counter were large jars of colourful sweets like a row of soldiers standing to attention. These raised the counter level and the newspapers of the day were placed on top of them. The old fashioned Cash register was tucked in behind, out of sight. Rows of cigarette packets were along the wall at a level out of sight of the children’s corner. Pipe tobacco, matches, pipe-cleaners, cigarette papers, lighter fuel all had their place. You could buy papers, magazines, comics, notepaper & envelopes, cards for all occasions, stamps, sheets of brown or gift paper and string. Large Picture boxes of Chocolates, usually with beautiful girls or cute animals on the front were placed high up on the walls. They sold well at Valentine’s & Mother’s day. The only trouble with them was that they were all box and very few chocolates.

Mr ’O’ also stocked milk in glass bottles, cream and eggs, ice-cream and ice pops – they were like a frozen drink on a stick, bright orange or deep red in colour. Fresh bread was delivered daily and he also stocked lemonade, Coke and Pepsi were not in our vocabulary never mind Mr ‘O’s shop.

At the far end of the counter was a mobile oil heater. It was the only heat in the building. The front door was open from morning to night so when the shop was quiet Mr ‘O’ was to be found working away near the heat source. On the shelves above it were an assortment of items not usual for a ‘paper’ shop. He had plasters, cards of sewing needles, sheets of pins, combs, razor blades, sachets of shampoo, fuses and batteries, sometimes you would see him disappear into the store and return with an item of his own to oblige a customer.

I remember once as a child going up with my saved pocket money to buy something for my parent’s anniversary and when I told him I wanted to buy a present he gently asked how much I wanted to spend. I told him how much I had and I know that what I came home with was well worth more than the cash I gave him. He even wrapped it for me and gave me a card to go with it.

On another occasion years later a friend and neighbour was having a party for her 18^th birthday. It was to be rather special and for the first time her parents had allowed her to have wine. When it came time to open the bottles they discovered they had no bottle opener to do so. Up they went to Mr ‘O’ and for once it was something he did not stock. Not to be outdone he left his wife to look after the shop and drove home to get his own corkscrew which he brought to the house of the party and opened the first couple of bottles to make sure they knew how to do it, before leaving the opener with them overnight.

Mr ‘O’ remembered everyone’s name, knew where they lived and who lived next door to them. As we grew up and moved on he got to know the names of the new additions to our families and always asked how we were doing and sent good wishes. We in turn always paid a visit when we went back to visit our parents. The younger generation loved to go to see Mr ‘O’ and buy sweets they usually came away with a sweet in their mouth that he had slipped to them.

I know he managed to have a half hour away from the shop to see me walk down the aisle 30 years ago and he was also at the graveside for both funerals of my parents.

We are constantly told how modern times are better. Modern technology means we can actually buy items without uttering a word or seeing a smile. Nowadays in shops when asking about certain items we are told “If it is not on the shelf, then we do not have it”. The Mr ‘O’s’ of this world are fast disappearing and the world should mourn their passing.

Would You Like a Bite?

2007-07-08T15:32:00.000+01:00

Every morning I start my day with a small bowl of Muesli. I have suffered all my life from a ‘Dairy’ intolerance so I pour my orange juice over the cereal. On the side I have a dish with 3 apricots, 5 dates and 2 figs. This means that I have four full portions of fruit before I leave the breakfast table. At elevenses time I am usually to be found doing chores, so for my break I have something easy, quick and simple. Fast food comes into its own here.

A Banana!

I remember learning at school that bananas were the second most perfect food, milk being the first.

It is a very long time since I was at school, and the milk in those days was not attacked by all the modern additives, chemicals, procedures etc. In fact I remember from my holidays in Sligo the milk-man coming every evening straight from the dairy with the milk in large cans still warm. If I think about it for a few minutes I can actually smell it! For those who can tolerate it, I wonder how healthy milk is nowadays.

Now back to my fast food:

Bananas are available in every Supermarket or fruit and vegetable shop. All you have to do is peel and eat. The skin can be returned to the earth via the compost bin and not clutter up the landfill sites, so there is no waste. We can also do so many other things with Bananas like adding them to Smoothies, make bread, Banoffee Pie and Knickerbocker Glories to name but a few.

This morning I heard something to really make me sit up and think! A lady from Zimbabwe was interviewed on the radio. She was talking of how difficult things are there at the moment.

One Banana today costs four times the price she paid for her four bed-roomed house seven years ago.

I really savoured every bite of my elevenses this morning.

A Thought for Sunday

2007-07-07T21:01:00.000+01:00

The local minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon last week.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate sauce.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead.

Third worm in chocolate sauce - Dead.

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation -

What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was setting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

Eight things you don’t know about me

2007-07-06T19:32:00.000+01:00

Oh Dear!

2007-07-05T18:31:00.001+01:00

K8 has been busy tagging everyone she knows in the Blogosphere today.

Thankfully she took pity on me and left me alone. I don’t like that sort of thing as I have to work hard to remember my young life… it was so very long ago.

While having a rest this afternoon I was thinking about my Newly Weds.

I gave Elly a bit of a scare last weekend, and instead of pushing up daisies I must keep struggling on. In case she decides to sell my body to science I completed a survey to tell me approximately how much money my darling daughter would get for it.

$4615.00

If you see her running up the road with a pillow will you let me know…

A Message in a Bottle Part 2

2007-07-02T15:59:00.000+01:00

Back in April I wrote a piece about ‘A Message in a Bottle’.

Today we have a little update! The system works!

Yes, on Friday I had reason to test it. A test nobody wants to have.

Following all the excitement of the wedding last weekend I spent the time since my return home lying low. I woke at around 5a.m. as usual on Friday, but tried to go back to sleep. I must have slept as I was awoken by the sound of the doorbell. Mark the Postman was all apologies for disturbing me. I signed his book and accepted a parcel. I still felt rather sluggish and fought against going back to bed. While thinking of Jack who often said “Bed! I am not going to bed. People die in bed!” I concentrated on making my breakfast.

By 10.15a.m. I knew I was in trouble and took my spray. Not having the desired effect I took it again and instead of improving things got worse. When my sight became blurred I called ‘999’. It is not the first time I have had to avail of their services. What a wonderful service they provide. Once I had given them all the information they needed, I was told me not to hang up and the man talked calmly and quietly to me until help arrived.

Within 4 minutes the Cardiac Car was here and I was wired up and put on Oxygen. The Ambulance was hot on the heels of the car and one of the men went straight to the fridge to get my ‘message in a bottle’. It gave him the information needed without me having to use up energy answering questions. He lifted my medication but refused me time to get night-gear or wash-bag.

It is at times like this I am glad to have a major hospital ten miles out the road. I was seen to immediately, injections and tests were started but since I was in the early stages of Hypothermia drawing blood was all the more difficult.

I was settled into a bed in the Cardiac Ward and was checked every 15 minutes. It took until 5p.m. to bring my temperature back to normal and for the pain to subside. The tests continued through the night and since the pain had not returned I was allowed home late Saturday afternoon. I still face tests but they will be as an out-patient.

Note to Bloggers: Do something about A Message in a Bottle!

Note to Self: Stop chasing Toyboys!

My Speech

2007-06-27T15:21:00.000+01:00

I made a promise and so I must keep it.

While concentrating on my many sewing tasks over the past few months, Podcasting was relegated to the back burner. The longer the gap the harder it is to begin again. So where will I start?

At the wedding on Saturday several people suggested that my speech might work well as a Podcast. There are friends and relations who follow my blog, but were unable to attend so for you I will re-do the speech.

You will have to imagine the heckling and the rotten tomatoes flying through the air!

My adventure is over, theirs is only beginning…

2007-06-26T17:56:00.000+01:00

Today I am home from Elly & George’s wedding and am feeling a little fragile:

So where do I start?

Thursday dawned and I woke early, the car was packed and ready to go. I spoke to Elly and she was in very good form (for a bride) and seemed quite relaxed! I had a good breakfast and set off on the road of a wonderful adventure.

Where have the 29 years gone, it seems at times as if while I blinked she changed from a tiny baby to the beautiful, capable, organised and independent young lady I now see. Her Dad would have been proud!

The journey was uneventful with some heavy rain as I crossed the border from Northern Ireland to the south. I called with Elly and we had some quality time before going to check into the hotel. Elly still had some things to sort out so she left me to get my bearings in the hotel and have an early quiet night.

Friday was a rest day for me with my only task being to press the famous outfit. This I did in stages and rested until after lunch.

Reception informed me when guests checked in so I was able to meet and greet them. My cousin and her husband from California who I met and stayed with a few years ago were the first to arrive. As we caught up with family news and looked at photos, my cousin from New Zealand and her son whom I last saw in the late 60’s were next to join us. These cousins were aware of each other but never met so it was good to make the introductions. We spent several hours catching up and filling gaps in family history.

Elly and the bridesmaids checked in and joined us for dinner. We were nine in total at this stage and the banter and craic was wonderful. A good omen for the day to follow!

Saturday dawned with sunshine and no rain. I went to breakfast at 8.30 and was joined by the Bride-to-Be and her attendants before they headed to keep hairdresser appointments. The remainder of the morning passed quickly with guests arriving from all arts and parts. It was becoming a very international affair. We had representatives from north, south, east and west of Ireland, London, Paris and Troyes in France, Romania, California, New Zealand and the high point for Elly was to have an Uncle from Australia who was bringing his 18 year old daughter to Ireland for the wedding and to meet his (our) family for the very first time.

Elly announced that she did not want to miss the fun so we all changed into our finery and rejoined the guests for the pre-wedding reception. It is the only wedding I ever attended where the Bride and Groom mingled with the guests before the ceremony.

At 3p.m. I had the honour of walking Elly in and handing her over to George. Music was provided by a sister of the Groom, while another sister, a friend of the couple and an aunt of the Bride took care of the three readings.

An Uncle of George’s officiated and the couple had written the service and vows themselves. It was very moving, and the place resounded with everyone singing ‘When I’m Sixty-Four by the Beatles as the couple walked, or should I say danced out.

At this point I have no pictures but if you check Elly’s blog, not alone will find a picture but can read her vows.

"I Gave My Wedding Dress Away,"

2007-06-21T09:27:00.000+01:00

Eileen Reid sang with a group called the Melody Makers in Dublin during the early sixties before joining the Cadets with whom she made the above hit record. She has continued to act, in films as well as on-stage. I last saw her portraying Imelda's mother in Alan Parker's The Commitments.

The song "I Gave My Wedding Dress Away" is very much in my head at the moment. You know how it is – you think of a line and you find you are singing it all day long!

Well now I will be able to say "I Gave My Wedding Dress Away" and mean it. For the past eighteen months I have worked on (When health allowed) a very special wedding dress. In fact I have always referred to it as ‘Elly’s Wedding Outfit’. That is because it was not really a dress at all. For most of her life my daughter REFUSED point blank to wear a dress! Jeans are her usual choice of apparel.

No way would I let her wear jeans walking up an aisle, no matter what building she chose for the wedding.

We did go out one day a lifetime ago or so it seems, so Elly could look at and try on dresses, even though she had already asked me to make her special outfit. I wanted her to be sure and not commit until she had tried several different styles.

There were one-pieces, two-pieces, meringues all frills and flounces, slinky little numbers and the more traditional with big skirts. She tried while I looked. My face sometimes told more than the mirror even if I was slow to comment. One she liked had a rather full skirt with mountains of underskirts to support it. I reminded her of how she disliked being restricted and she agreed that yes it would slow her down far too much. “Anyway Mum, your arms would not hack all that weight of material” she said. I think I was secretly relieved.

Since Elly’s Graduation outfit (which I made over ten years ago) really pleased her she hankered after a similar one for her wedding. I hunted out ideas and we settled on a boned bodice, trousers and a train. Detachable sleeves were also an option. We ditched the sleeves last month and the train unhooks for Dancing.

I set to work on the train as it would not be affected by a change in Elly’s weight. Next I did the sleeves and then the trousers. I left the waistband and hems semi-finished for the second fitting. The bodice was the last piece to be tackled as it was boned and the most difficult to alter.

All this was going on some 125 miles apart from each other. Each time we met her weight seemed static and her shape & measurements remained the same. I took a chance on it and went ahead with the boned bodice.

In February work decided to interfere with the calm steady arrangements. Work trips around the globe were suddenly arranged and Elly took off on her travels. Mammy sat calmly (on the outside) sewing away wondering when we were ever to have a fitting. I kept a stock of safety pins at the ready, after all Liz Hurley got away with it at the Oscars!

I travelled to Dublin for the Irish Blog Awards in March armed with Wedding outfit, sewing box, sheets to spread on the floor for the fitting etc.

Ha, ha, ha! Serves you right mother! Elly lost a little weight. Where? Up top of course, so the alterations started. I still had time… 23^rd June was a couple of months away.

Elly arranged to come up on 10^th June for the final fitting but the car objected and gave up on her north of Drogheda. The car was sorted and she finally managed to take time away from work on Friday 15^th June. We had a good six or seven hour’s together but:

Whaaaa! More alterations were needed. Beading had to be removed to do them properly. I managed to do the crucial ones while Elly was with me and that left four days to get it all finished.

All that work just to ‘Gift Wrap’ the most precious treasure I have before willingly and lovingly entrusting her to George.

George all I ask is that you mind her, love her and may you both live long and happy lives together.

Changing a Name

2007-06-20T13:55:00.000+01:00

In the next week or so you will notice a change on my Blog Roll. I will be ditching Sin-in-Law.

Now calm down, I am not eliminating him altogether just changing his name on the list. After Saturday he will hopefully be still living with my daughter. They have known each other for the past five years and there are no signs of any cracks, so it looks like they are together for the duration. ;)

So how will I introduce him to any of my friends? I could ask for your help with suggestions, but no, I have made up my own mind on this one.

Son-in-Law is so ordinary and used by so many already. I have decided to call George my:

Sun-in-Law

“Why Sun and not Son” I hear you ask.

The reason for my choice is the transformation in Elly when he walks into a room. It is exactly like the sun suddenly appearing from behind a cloud. The room is brighter for his presence and filled with a warm loving glow.

I wish them both, every happiness on their shared journey through married life.

Almost ready for the Big Event

2007-06-19T09:43:00.000+01:00

The sewing is completed for the wedding, the boxes, bags and clothes hangers are all sorted and ready to load into the car. So what have I left to do?

!. Prepare a short Mother of the Bride speech of welcome and share a few of Elly’s escapades from her young life. She has not yet realised that my dementia is selective….

2, Decide on my party-piece for the evening. Now I wonder …

‘My Favourite Things’ is a harmless little ditty.

♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

Now let me see if I remember the lyrics:-

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,

These are a few of my favourite things.

Cadillac’s and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,

We remember our favourite things.

When the pipes leak,
when the bones creak,
when the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,

And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favourite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinning',

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinning',

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,

Then we remember our favourite things.

When the joints ache,
when the hips break,
when the eyes grow dim,
then I remember the great life I've had,

And then I don't feel so bad.

These lyrics are courtesy of Julie Andrews she chose them for a performance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall

I wonder where I might find a singing teacher…

The very thing the yellow Pages!

The Letter Box Clattered…

2007-06-18T10:13:00.000+01:00

You all know how I love the sound of my letterbox clattering and the other day was no different.

My singular item that day was a card from Anne, a friend I worked with in Dublin before I was married. We have remained in touch by letter, phone calls and the occasional visit. Anne married a couple of years before me and had a daughter Rebecca by the time I walked down the aisle. She later has a son a little younger than Elly.

The card from Anne was to wish me well during this special month of June. She was encouraging me to savour every day and particularly Elly’s Wedding Day. She enclosed a copy of a letter that she had come across on a recent spring-clean and enjoyed re-reading. As I read the letter tears rolled silently down my face! I think I might like to share it:

Waveney Hospital

Ballymena

Tuesday 9^th May

Dear Anne & Tony,

Greetings from the Grannymar Family!

Yes Elly arrived on Saturday at 4.25p.m. She is just gorgeous. At 6lbs 12ozs she was much bigger than I had expected. The Consultant had told me the baby would be small and I had expected a wrinkled little prune! Well there wasn’t a wrinkle in sight.

The Consultant took me into hospital on the Wednesday as my sugar levels were very high. They ran tests and X-rays all day Thursday to make sure the baby was big enough to bring on. The results were through on Friday and they started the ball rolling at 10.30a.m. Saturday. I must say it was all very easy and couldn’t understand why they kept asking to give me an injection for pain!

Poor Jack had the longest day of his life, waiting and wondering. He was up and finished breakfast before 6a.m. and wandered around in circles all day. By 4p.m. when there was still no news he decided to come on over and wait at the hospital, but by the time he arrived, all was over and he was taken straight to see his little daughter.

I will never forget the look on his face when he came across to my bedside. The tears just ran down his cheeks with joy!

I had a try at breast feeding on Sunday but yesterday I had to stop as my skin is so fair and sensitive. I will try again today but am resigned to the fact that it may not work out. I will at least have tried and what more can I do. Yesterday I had a touch of the ‘Blues’, but am back to myself again today. I was just overtired and slept very little on Saturday and Sunday.

Sister has just made rounds and together we decided to quit the breast feeding. I am much too sore and raw and would run into more trouble. It is better to decide now and not wait until I am home and on my own.

Mammy has phoned to say she will come to see us. Jack persuaded her to wait until next week when I am home and she would have more time with us. I am really looking forward to her visit.

Well now Rebecca, we can take out the little bootees and make good use of them. It seems no time since you were as new as Elly. How time goes by!

Anne I must finish and get some more letters written while Elly sleeps and the mood is on me.

Love to All

Grannymar

We all use emails nowadays for speed and ease. I wonder how they will last as records of events in years ahead.

Don’t give up the Pen and paper!

Be Sure Your Sins Will Find You Out!

2007-06-17T17:49:00.000+01:00

At University College Dublin, there were four students taking chemistry and all of them had an "A" so far. These four Guys were so confident, that the weekend before their finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to UCD until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final exam then, they decided that after the final, they would explain to their professor why they missed it.

They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.

The Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet.

They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought!

Each one in separate rooms, thinking this was going to be easy.... then they turned the page. On the second page was written....

For 95 points: Which tire?

Dario I hope it wasn't you!

Talents & Gifts

2007-06-16T13:13:00.000+01:00

Being human we seldom realise or recognise our own talents. I often look at the work of photographers and marvel at the amazing images they produce. Gingerpixel is one and Richard M, who I mentioned in a previous post, is another. I point a camera and if I am lucky I manage to produce something that is almost recognisable.

Praise was not something my parents served up very often in my young days. It was usually “What are you at now? You know you will never finish it.” I suppose those words made me more determined to complete whatever I was at, usually some sewing, and prove I could do something.

I remember hiding away in my bedroom one afternoon to find some peace and quiet to read a book that a friend had given me. My mother called up to me to know what I was up to. “Nothing, just reading” I said. “Well stop wasting time and come down here and do something useful!” she said. I came down as asked and the useful task assigned to me was to peel ½ stone of potatoes for the dinner. Seven pounds of potatoes were consumed on a daily basis in our household, that was when we were small in number, my parents four brothers my sister and myself. When we had visitors, which was a regular occurrence the mound of potatoes grew even bigger. Of course we had plenty of vegetables to be scrubbed, peeled and chopped to go with the potatoes and they just appeared at my side as I was about to finish the spuds.

There were days when Mammy might exclaim “I have nothing for dessert, would you ever whip up a sponge cake. Now this was before we had an electric mixer or a food processor. My only aid was a hand mixer and it took an eternity to beat up the eggs until they were stiff and left the mark of the beaters in the mixture. All that work to see the cake arrive on the table where it was cut in eight slices and devoured in ten seconds!! What is it with eggs? I made the sponge cakes, pancakes, and scrambled eggs. They were about the only things I was praised for.

Mary my father’s eldest sister is the person who fostered my love of a needle. She taught me to crochet and to read a sewing pattern properly. I had lessons on her old treadle sewing machine and she helped to make my first dress. To this day I still see it in my minds eye. Being the early sixties it was simple sleeveless fully lined and had two fringed patch pockets on the front. Auntie Mary was a teacher and had a love for her craft and passed on her knowledge with love and gentle dedication. I have never forgotten anything that she taught me.

Over this past year while working on Elly’s special outfit I thought of Auntie Mary many times. So when I make a quiet toast to Absent Loved Ones on the big day Auntie Mary will be high up on that list.

A Good Thought!

2007-06-16T09:47:00.000+01:00

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old:

You grow old because you stop laughing.

Grafton Street’s a Wonderland….

2007-06-14T19:00:00.000+01:00

A lady was walking down Grafton Street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of Euro for food.

The woman took out her purse, produced €50 and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some chocolate with it instead of dinner?"

"No," I had to stop chocolate years ago, the homeless woman replied.

Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.

"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this at the Hairdresser’s instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your hubby be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty well disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hairdresser appointments, and chocolate.

Relationships and Death

2007-06-04T12:43:00.000+01:00

Ann over at For the Long Run has written a wonderful post this morning with food for thought for all of us. You will find Last Impressions a wonderful lesson

I also found Staying too long has another angle on the same topics.

I asked on Tuesday 8 May 2007 “How long would the smiles last?”, when we saw the wonderful pictures taken the day Devolution was restored to the Northern Ireland Assembly following the election of the four-party Executive of 12 ministers. All considered good news and reason for the smiles.

An item in Breaking News.ie today caught my eye. It proves my point that there is still an undercurrent of unrest going on. The article tells of a Bomb found on Belfast housing estate.

“The crude but viable device was discovered at a British Telecom junction box on the Primrose Hill estate off Belfast’s Saintfield Road shortly before 6.30am today.
British army technical officers were called and removed a number of objects from the Ballylenaghan Heights site for examination.
Police said they had no details of who was responsible at this stage.
Primrose Hill is a new housing development in Carryduff.”

Had the device gone off, how many more deaths and shattered relationships would we see around us? We have a long uphill journey ahead and we must keep listening to each other to find a way through.

I won't be popular for this

2007-05-30T19:28:00.000+01:00

Yes I am an old biddy; very few out there would disagree.

Although I am now officially a pensioner, I have had several years to become used to this situation due to ill health. I miss the work place and the camaraderie of work colleagues. I always liked routine and as a morning person I never had difficulty getting up early.

I was a committed worker and treated those around me with respect and always felt I was fairly paid for the work I did. I came across folk who were expert at playing shuffle the paperwork as well as the system. There were those who spent the day on the phone and we learned without eavesdropping what empty lives they had. Some had a phobia about work and others used every excuse under the sun to take time off. There were those like myself who worked to their full potential and grew with the experience.

Most of my working years were before ‘equal pay for work of equal value’. Men were always paid more than the women and we accepted this or were told to move on as there were plenty other folk out there just waiting for our jobs.

In fact in my early days women in the Civil Service and the teaching profession had to resign when they got married. They only returned if they were widowed. There were no allowances for unmarried mothers, and no young mothers jumping the queue to grab the pick of the holidays.

You might think I sound critical or bitchy about working mothers. The reverse is the case – if they pulled their weight. I know of one individual who had the excuse of leaving her children off to school or the child minder and arrived 30 minutes after everyone else. Her first task was to charge her mobile phone on company time and electricity. Somehow she never managed to stay until official finishing time or to cover lunchtime. Magically her name was always first on the holiday list when it was produced. Women like her spoil matters for all women.

Now I like to see all workers fairly treated; the women as well as the men. This was brought home to be a short while ago while reading a post on Old Dog New Trick. Betty has some very interesting thoughts, so head on over there girls and have a read.

I am heading south for a few days so hope, pray and rattle the rosaries that ‘The Outfit’ fits my Elly.

Do you like Smarties?

2007-05-28T10:58:00.000+01:00

A row of bottles on my shelf caused me to analyze myself.

One yellow pill I have to pop goes to my heart so it won't stop.

A little white one that I take goes to my hands so they won't shake.

The blue ones that I use a lot tell me I'm happy when I'm not.

The purple pill goes to my brain and tells me that I have no pain.

The capsules tell me not to wheeze or cough or choke or even sneeze.

The red ones smallest of them all goes to my blood so I won't fall.

The orange ones, very big and bright prevent my leg cramps in the night.

Such an array of brilliant pills helping to cure all kinds of ills.

But what I'd really like to know is what tells each one where to go!

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.

Today I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt...

Do I listen to Pod casts?

2007-05-25T14:41:00.000+01:00

Dario asked if I listened to a Podcast he takes part in. It is the ‘Jefferson Davis & Friends Podcast’. The other participants are Brianf and Grandad. Dario is a first year University student at UCD in Dublin. Like all eighteen year-olds he is in a hurry to experience NOW all that the life of an adult holds. Dario hand on heart I can tell you that no adult has been able to do so. If it were possible to learn all there is to learn in your short life so far, think how boring the next 80 years might prove.

Yes, I have listened to your Podcast and did understand what you were saying. I have the patience to let my ears acclimatise to the sound of the various accents in a Podcast. Did you ever wonder why I spoke so slowly when making a Podcast? It is to allow folk who are unused to the sound of my voice to hear each word. If you speak at normal conversation speed it may not come over, across the airwaves.

Conn Ó Muíneacháin of Edgecast media:> was the official Pod-caster at the IrishBusinessWomen.com conference last weekend in Westport, Ireland. Terry Prone of Carr Communications was a speaker and she gives food for thought to all of us who seek to communicate. Terry is my vintage and she believes in what she does, and this means she gives a convincing message without us realising. You can link to it at (24MB, 41:14, MP3),

I have to admit that I was dependant on my voice to communicate all my working life. Folk heard me speak and sometimes never met me.

On one occasion a gentleman came into the office and I happened to be the first person he spoke to. I asked if I could help him. He said that he had an appointment with one of our director’s. I addressed him by name and said that he was expected, and to take a seat while I informed the director of his arrival. He called me back and said “I have never met you before; in fact I have never visited this office. How did you know my name?” I smiled and again addressed him by name saying “I speak to you on a regular basis by phone”.

At times I have difficulty putting a name to a person’s face. If I close my eyes and listen to them the name usually comes to me.

By the way Grandad’s voice was not how I imagined it at all. He sounds far to young to be a Grandad!

I suppose one of these days I will have to think of a subject to Podcast about.

Cheers!

2007-05-25T10:36:00.000+01:00

I’m going to a Party. I was going to bring my friends. They might have fun. I know they want to go away for a few days.

Granny, Grandad & Sandy

I know Grandad has Whiskey I heard him boasting about it on a Podcast. If we are nice he might bring some. He makes some wild cocktails

Now for the cake:

Conortje have a good one!

Twenty Twelve and all that

2007-05-21T18:09:00.000+01:00

With the Olympic Games coming to the UK in 2012 a new area of competition for Granddads has been announced. Admission will be by Bus Pass.

The following are some of the suggestions for the events:

1. Sag, You're it.

2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket.

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Doc, Doc, Goose.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Hide and go pee.

9. Spin the Bottle of Bisodol.

10. Musical recliners.

Something for the Weekend…..

2007-05-19T11:24:00.001+01:00

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I will begin…

Do you like Scrabble?

The following might prove helpful.

Whatever you do, HIDE the last one from George.

DORMITORY ~ DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN ~ PRESBYTERIAN

ASTRONOMER ~ MOON STARER

DESPERATION ~ A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES ~ THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH ~ HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE ~ HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES ~ CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY ~ IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS ~ LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS ~ ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT ~ IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES ~ THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO ~ TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW ~ WOMAN HITLER

My long pause…

2007-05-18T13:58:00.000+01:00

The past couple of weeks have proved rather busy for me. I am trying to finish all my sewing tasks for the wedding. I have Elly’s outfit ready for the final fitting and hopefully my calculations are not totally off the scale. I now need to make a cushion for the Ring bearer and a little bag for the Flower girl.

I have completed my own headgear and my bag for the day. My project for this afternoon is to make some decoration to hide my scrawny neck…. Alas sacks are forbidden….

These notes are by way of an apology for not posting or Podcasting more regularly. I have lurked and added the odd comment. I am depending on my store of amusing stories and graphics and hopefully they are keeping you interested until my time becomes my own again. Hang in there because like ‘Old Blue Eyes’ I will be making a come back!

So to keep you going:

Lucy spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to re turn their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

Lucy called her Ex and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!

Life on the Bench

2007-05-14T15:33:00.000+01:00

Relax I have not received, or for that matter am not likely to receive, an invitation to join those on the Birthday Honours list. So a future of snoozing of an afternoon on the leather benches in the House of Lords is not for me.

I am referring to a different type of bench.

According to an article in the Daily Mail today mobile phone users in a remote Devon village have literally worn-out a wooden bench on the village green because standing on it is the only way they can get a signal.

Now parish chiefs are building a special "phone throne" for villagers to climb onto so they can make mobile telephone calls.

Now that might be the place to set up residence.

Peaceful shops and restaurants….

Drivers with both hands on the steering wheel and full concentration on driving…

A perfect excuse not to answer my mobile.

I thought you had moved

2007-05-13T20:10:00.000+01:00

This afternoon I met an acquaintance that I had not seen for months. His greeting was “I thought you had moved” The tone was almost as if he had said “Why are you still here”!

As I went on my way I tossed this over in my mind.

Was it time to really think of starting over somewhere else? If I did move where would I think of moving to? Dublin is not the place I left 30 years ago. I still have family and friends there but they, like me have moved on and have their own commitments and interests to fill their time. Would I see them any more than I do while living here in Northern Ireland?

It is not something to be hasty about so I will sleep on the matter and perhaps some suggestions from my blogging friends might throw some light on this situation.

Thank you for informing us…. 2

2007-05-13T13:59:00.000+01:00

This is in reply to the comments on my last post.

Dario please hurry up and sort the world out.

Betty we need a licence for a TV and another one if we have a dog, but none for a cat, a rabbit or a baby! The world is crazy...

We have no cable TV where I live and would need something like this on the roof.

I know that in Dublin where Elly lives they have a provider of cable that covers the phone, internet and TV connection. Mind you the phone line is dreadful in my opinion. That is unless they jink it on purpose to get me off the line quickly. ;)

Nancy that pilot sounds like a guy I knew in the USAF.

Thank you for informing us….

2007-05-12T14:37:00.000+01:00

Noon today and I am beginning to think of what to make for lunch. On the way to the kitchen I hear a familiar clatter in the hall. Ah! The postman, now I wonder what delights he has brought me today.

This one I want to share with you.

I have not had a television for the past 8 years. The Licensing people KNOW that because they pestered me with letters a number of years ago. Eventually a representative called and since he recognised me as I did him, he agreed that I was telling the truth.

He actually declined my invitation to come into and inspect my home for a television.

About two years ago more letters arrived and at that point I filed them in the shredding machine.

So here we go again…

I find the letter very amusing for several reasons.

1) The first line is a lie – I have not been in touch with them recently.

2) “we find that 50% of people do need a licence” – which 50%, top or bottom half? ;)

3) They check in case I have moved – If I had moved I would not be reading this letter.

Have I moved? Am I still Grannymar?

Do they still make black & white televisions?

Service with a Smile…

2007-05-12T09:51:00.000+01:00

My brother who lives in Dublin, phoned me a short while ago.
He was back from his morning routine walk and purchasing
a newspaper at the local petrol station shop.

A foreign visitor was ahead of him in the queue and on reaching the desk
he asked for €5 worth of gas.....

The guy at the till smiled, farted and gave him a receipt.

Ouch!

2007-05-11T15:23:00.000+01:00

I have a habit of talking of how ‘we mothers’ never cut that cord. No matter how many miles Elly is away from me our metaphorical umbilical cord is still attached.

Having read an article in The Guardian this morning I am beginning to wonder if I should do something about it!!!!

But then in the not to distant future perhaps….

Women who Read

2007-05-10T15:59:00.000+01:00

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am.

What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, Isn't that obvious?)

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. "I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

A Letter from America

2007-05-10T10:05:00.000+01:00

Hello from America,

Well, our television and newspapers are full of the news re the "NEW DAY DAWNING IN NORTHERN IRELAND". That was the headline in the Philadelphia Inquirer this morning. The article continued with "The bombastic Protestant evangelist, Ian Paisley, has formed an administration with Sinn Fein deputy leader, Martin McGuiness. The article goes on:" Everyone seems to be relieved and pleased with the forming of the new government, a once -unimaginable achievement that both sides pledged would consign decades of death and destruction to history.

Their new shared agenda includes: Improved hospitals, schools, roads and other services."

As I read the paper and followed the story I was reminded of the many times the accounts of strife in your Country have been reported to us here. We always hoped that the differences could be resolved and now it has happened. Good for all involved in the settlement process. Long may your new administration continue to strive for bigger and better things for Northern Ireland.

A few comments on the visit of Queen Elizabeth. She was a smash hit in her fabulous outfits. She drew huge friendly crowds wherever she appeared. We are all of the opinion that she enjoyed herself immensely because she always had a smile on her face even when Mickey Rooney grabbed her gloved hand and KISSED it. No one knows how she continued to smile when President Bush remarked that the last time she had visited was in 1776! At the reciprocal dinner a few nights later at the British Embassy the Queen rose to give a toast and looking directly at George W. she said" When I was last here in 1776....." The guests roared! The Queen is leaving today and without her outfits and especially her hats to talk about, I just don't know what our news people will have to say.

Love from America,

Nancy

Gentlemen can I have your attention....

2007-05-09T16:29:00.000+01:00

On Friday I got a letter. By now you all know how I love to receive letters.

This one was from my local health Centre. It was a reminder that it was time to have a routine test.

Yes the time has come round again to have THAT test. Let me just say it is probably the one we women most dislike – a smear test. The fact that it can save lives does little about how we feel about it. It is silly you know as it only takes a few minutes. Nowadays we are no longer asked to put our legs up in stirrups and told to relax as a doctor (in the past it was usually a man with a gruff manner) approached with a hunk of cold steel! You get the picture.

I always found the Mammogram test just as uncomfortable as a smear test. It is like having a Boob squashed in a vice first horizontally, and then vertically. It was made worse when I realised that nowadays it is the only time someone will ask me to appear topless on film.

Today I had to smile: “Why”? I hear you ask. Well they have found a test for the men in our lives. It only takes a minute and it could save your life, no need to be squeamish…..

By Baby

2007-05-06T11:57:00.000+01:00

Elly arrived at 16.25hrs on 6th May 1978 as Ipswich scored the winning goal in the F.A. Cup Final. She was the first, only and dearly loved child for my husband and myself.

From the moment she was born she was alert and hungry!

She is still alert and hungry…….

Elly quickly moved through Education:

She joined Brownies

Learned how to be a radio broadcaster

Went on a tour of Queens University Library (aged 10)

Joined a church choir

Played Hockey, Badminton and Tennis

Took part in residential Science Courses

Tried canoeing, caving & rock climbing

After A levels it was off to Paisley University in Scotland, to read Marketing with French

Year three at the IUT in Troyes, France followed with new friends & experiences, but playing rugby was not what mother had in mind.

Back to Paisley for the final year and graduation.

Moving to Dublin opened many doors

Working for a Major International Company

Meeting her True Love

New Hobbies, Friends and of course travel

This is what happens when you fall in love!

On Tuesday she heads off on a working trip that will take her right around the world passing through the date line for the first time.

Elly work well, enjoy the experience and travel safely, as always bring my love with you and I look forward to the tales of your travels when you return.

Elly enjoy your birthday, make the day special! I will always love you

The Demon Drink

2007-05-01T18:22:00.000+01:00

While reading Dario Sanchez’s post today I was reminded of the following story:

John-Joe Murphy went to a party and as usual has far too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says NO -- he only lives a few miles away.

About half a mile from the party, the Gardai pull him over. They check his license and ask him to get out of the car and walk in a straight line. Just as he starts, the Garda’s pocket radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house around the corner. The Gardai tell John-Joe to stay put, they'll be right back and they run around the corner to the robbery. John-Joe waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.

A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. Murphy is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been there all day. The police still have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage. She opens the door. There sitting in the garage is the squad car, with all its lights still flashing!

My Poor Chickens!

2007-04-26T21:55:00.000+01:00

Today is not a good day in ‘Lover’s Leap’. In fact it has not proved to be a good week at all. Last Friday my Elly returned from a working week in Israel. She phoned me from Dublin Airport as she waited for her baggage to come through. She always checks in like this a) to see if it is time to claim her inheritance or b) to let me know she has landed safely. We talked until I heard the baggage carousel start up and I let her go to concentrate on that. A little while later I had a text from her to say the case had not come home.

Saturday she was involved at Barcamp Dublin, another long and busy day. The suitcase was delivered on Sunday mid morning so all seemed well.

Monday and Tuesday were spent playing catch up at work while sorting her paperwork for the Visa, and vaccinations required for the next trip in May, which is to Vietnam with a stop off for two weeks on the way in Arizona. Taking the westward route she should come right round the world, passing the date line for the first time and cover 20,800 miles of flying.

Her visit to the Post Office was slow and tedious but the Passport and paperwork were eventually sent on their merry way to London for the Visa Stamp. She returned to her car to discover a parking ticket on the windshield.

Wednesday dawned and the effects of the Vaccinations hit home and she was suffering from a sore arm and rear end! At lunch time a young man decided to be friendly with my Sin-in-Law, far too friendly! He ‘rear ended him’; I think that is the term. The car is a mess I believe. ‘S-i-L’ thought he was un-damaged so did not take my advice and go to his doctor.

This morning ‘S-i-L’ had a very sore neck and Elly’s rear end was swollen, sore and not allowing her to sit down. They both headed to see the doctor and were given medication and told to take it easy today and not to try working.

While I spoke to Elly on the phone this morning she was pacing up and down, ‘S-i-L’ put out his hand to touch her as she passed – to give her a sign of comfort. His hand was about 2” from her bottom when she gave him a ‘Moses’ look, like the look Moses used to part the Red Sea. When Elly does that you BACK OFF!

Tonight they are a little better and the wedding is going ahead!

Get well soon, I love you both!

So who was it then?

2007-04-26T14:47:00.000+01:00

The clatter of my letterbox is a sound that always pleased me. Today was no different. Yes, the postman had come early and left an A5 sized envelope. Emails are instant but it is still nice to get some letters. The sound of them dropping onto the floor tells me I am still alive.

The lone item today was my Phone/Broadband bill. Old habits die hard and I always go through the bill with a fine tooth comb. Sometimes in the past it was a reminder that it was time to phone a particular person again. With the modern day options that have the free evening and weekend calls, the numbers in ‘free-time’ do not show up.

The bill this morning had a surprise for me. Second item on the list of calls was: 20^th January at 13.46 Somalia, followed by a number.

Yes, I did say Somalia.

I don’t know anyone in Somalia. To my shame I can just about tell it is in Africa, but I am not sure whether it is north, south, east or west. Google maps here I come….

I have never phoned anyone in Somalia in my life and since I live alone who did? I know it was not Elly or my Sin-in-Law as they were at Barcamp South East that day. I know they were there because Elly was giving one of the talks.

There was only one solution for it, so I phoned BT. I followed option 1, followed by 4 and 5. I nice English speaking girl asked how she could help. I told her my trouble and she wondered if I had misdialled. I assured her that that was not the case. She was still sceptical and said she would check back over the past two bills. No sign of Somalia there she said. I knew that, so reluctantly she said she would have it deleted from the bill.

What I still want to know is who used my phone to call Somalia?

Was it you? Go on own up!

Gardening

2007-04-25T16:33:00.000+01:00

My back is broken!

I have spent the morning slaving away in the garden. Cutting grass and pulling weeds. Exhausted I sat to have a coffee and to daydream….

I have solved my gardening problem and want to share it with you

http://www.procreo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf

When you click on the link you will get a black page.

Click your mouse anywhere on the black page & see what happens!

Better yet, click & drag your mouse forward and backwards over the black page...

If only gardening was this easy…..

And what is your line of work?

2007-04-23T17:59:00.000+01:00

I know that I have made mention over time to death, dying and the way to leave this earthly existence.

Now I want to make it clear I am not obsessed with my mortal decline. Despite the aches and pains of normal aging, I am in fact a very positive person and look forward to many, many more years of fun and laughter.

Today’s batch of emails brought this gem and I thought I would share it with you:

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral..... I'm a gynaecologist."

That's when the proctologist fainted.

Travel

2007-04-18T11:38:00.000+01:00

Now Grandad has the crazy idea of climbing up Everest. Little does he know how long an expedition like that will take, there are the months of preparation and then all that sitting around waiting for the clouds to clear…

Granny certainly needs the break so the longer it takes the more rest she will get.

Now I have an idea…

She and I might take a trip in the other direction well out of harms way.

We will go to Canada. It is a great big place with plenty of wide open spaces. There are plenty of Mountains and ‘Mounties’ to explore…

We might take that train journey from one coast to the other. When we have had enough of the scenery we might meet up with ‘The Raging Grannies’. They have branches all over the place. In fact we might learn some of their songs and start up our own branch in Ireland when we get back.

A Famous Artist

2007-04-18T09:58:00.000+01:00

Van Gogh came from quite a large family, but we never hear anything about his relations. Someone may ask you about the others sometime, so this may help you.

His dizzy aunt----------------------------Verti Gogh

The brother who ate prunes--------Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at Tesco Metro---------Stop n Gogh

The cousin from Illinois-----------------Chi-ca Gogh

His magician uncle-----------------Where-diddy Gogh

His Mexican cousin------- ------------A Mee Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach--------------Wells-far Gogh

The constipated uncle----------------- Can't Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt--------------- Tang Gogh

The bird lover uncle--------------------Fla-min Gogh

His nephew psychoanalyst---------------- E Gogh

The fruit loving cousin------------------Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking--------------- Way-to Gogh

The little bouncy nephew------------------- Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco----------------------Go Gogh

So there ya Gogh

Aghhhhh 2

2007-04-17T15:46:00.000+01:00

As a postscript to my Blog about baby Carriages and modes of Transport for our little

Darlings, I would like to share with you this little number:

With thanks to my good friend NL

You Just Have To Love Little Old Ladies

2007-04-17T10:02:00.000+01:00

A biker from Ballydehob went to the local garage to have his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far away and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at a hardware shop and bought a bucket and an anvil. Next he went to see a livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.

However, struggling back onto the street he now had a problem: how to carry all his purchases home. While he is scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.

She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to Ballydehob Post office?”

The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live right beside it. I would walk you home, but I can't carry all this."

The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says, "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."

The little old lady looked him over cautiously and then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"

The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."

Aghhhhh!

2007-04-16T22:33:00.000+01:00

Over the past few days several of my blogging pals have let off steam about things that were annoying them.

Now it is my turn.

This morning I needed to purchase something (light) so I decided to walk up the town. For various health reasons this walk is not always possible or indeed a good idea. In these parts we say ‘Up the town’ when in fact it is a mile downhill to the centre of our so called shopping area from where I live. The mile uphill on the return journey is rather taxing for me nowadays. I managed my outward journey quite well, but walking along the main street I was almost pushed under a bus! It was only a single-decker so maybe if it had hit me the damage may not have been so bad!!!

So how did it happen? There were shoppers about and I was aware of a young lady approaching with a baby in a pushchair. Being polite, and one of the old school, l I moved to the outside of the pavement to give her room. She paid no attention to me and barged on past. From the side of the pushchair (closest to me), 2 enormous packets of disposable nappies were protruding. The packages hit me as she passed with enough force to knock me off balance. I ended up in the road. She must have noticed or felt the bump!

As I struggled up the hill with more aches & pains than I had on the way down I pondered on the subject of ‘Babies’ & their transport. My gripe is the fact that a) she paid no heed to other pedestrians and b) that the pushchair/buggy/ stroller or whatever you want to call it was the size of an SUV! Maybe if I had to push a tank like that about I would become aggressive.

This evening I browsed the web and was horrified to discover that one of these gigantic pushchairs might cost £300-£400. The weight of a pushchair is approximately 13kg, that’s without the baby! The assembled size is about L130 x W58 x H106cm.

I then read several reviews about these means of transport and the consensus was that they were very heavy when folded and quite cumbersome when trying to lift into the boot of a car or onto a bus. You also need a fairly large area to store them as they takes up a fair amount of room! The sunshade was useless as it didn't shade the baby from the sun at all. Finally whilst it is lovely having pneumatic tyres, it is very frustrating when you got a puncture. One lady reported having had three!

Now don’t get me started on disposable nappies……

Pins

2007-04-16T13:42:00.000+01:00

This morning I read a post by Primal Sneeze about codes, passwords and pin numbers. I well know his frustration. All this learning numbers and eating the paper they are written on has given me an ulcer never mind indigestion!

I have decided against all the advice I have received over the years to share my pins with the whole world!

Please use them with care.

Message in a Bottle

2007-04-15T14:18:00.000+01:00

As a young girl I enjoyed walking along the waters edge of any beach dipping my toes in the water from time to time. Thoughts of finding a bottle with a message in it seemed so romantic. In those early days the beaches were on the east coast of Ireland so any hope of bottles coming ashore from some exotic sun drenched island were rather farcical. I suppose if I was to find such a bottle it would have more lightly come from over the side of the boat from Dublin to Holyhead!

Today I have a message in a bottle. In fact I have had it for a year now. I keep in safely in my fridge. The fridge is an unusual place to keep a message, but this one is special. It is more a clear plastic container than a bottle and stands about 12cms tall with a strong plastic lid. The note inside contains a photograph and personal details of the individual concerned. It was given to me by a friend.

The bottle came with a sheet of instructions and three stickers. So what is it all about? It is part of the Emergency Information Scheme. This is a voluntary scheme intended for use by any person whilst living at home. The scheme provides the Emergency Services with the vital details of any illness or allergy you may suffer from, medication you may be taking and the name of a person to be contacted in the event of you suffering a sudden illness or personal accident.

How does it work? Your details are stored on an A5 sheet of paper, in a plastic container, which is kept in your fridge. The three special stickers are known to the Emergency Services and other caring agencies.

You need to complete the form in biro/ballpoint pen and place it in the container. Then attach the large sticker to the outside of the container and store it in the fridge. Next you put a small sticker on the outside of the fridge and keep it uncovered. Put the other sticker on an inside door or panel within the hallway, where it can easily be seen.

I decided not to put the stickers on my fridge and hall panel as they were, because if I moved or needed to replace the fridge I would lose them. Therefore I had them laminated and put a magnet on the back of the one for the fridge and used ‘Bluetac’ for the other one. So if I move they move with me.

I particularly like the last two questions. Are you a Carer? If so there is space to put the details of a person who relies on you for daily care. And the last one is: Do you have pets, if yes how many and what type?

Do you know somebody who might find this scheme useful? Then I suggest you contact your local, Emergency Services, Police, or the next Politician who calls at your door looking for your vote!

I am attaching a copy of the form and you might be able to print it off and use it. I hope you never NEED to.

Shoes

2007-04-13T16:35:00.000+01:00

There was a time in my young days when passing the window of a shoe shop, particularly in early springtime, was an utter impossibility for me. It was a time when my hard earned cash provided me with a new outfit each spring, summer, autumn and winter. These outfits became ‘Sunday best’. The purchasing was not complete until the hat; gloves, bag and shoes all matching, were chosen.

I am talking about the days where all well mannered young ladies attending any job interview arrived punctually wearing her hat and her gloves. On entering the interview room she stood until invited to sit down. When sitting she kept her knees together and not crossed, keeping her gloves on throughout the meeting! “Why?” I hear you ask. Taking off ones gloves was considered forward and gave the impression that you were there to stay! Gosh I am so glad that things have moved on since then.

Leaving that tangent, I come back to my topic of shoes. I am not quite in the ‘Imelda Marcos’ category but I do confess to several pairs of shoes. I like to keep them clean and place shoe-trees in them as soon as I take them off. This helps keep them in shape and good condition. When they have cooled off I store them in their boxes lined with tissue. I have shoes that were purchased eight or nine years ago and still they look like new. They have spent more time on my feet than in the boxes.

Yesterday I ventured out to look for a new pair of shoes to go with the outfit that Elly helped me choose for her wedding. I headed for Ballymena and McKillen’s a well known Footwear Emporium in these parts. I walked slowly past the goods on display and realised once more that age was catching up on me. On past visits I have found difficulty in choosing only one pair of shoes. This time I was saddened that nothing appealed to me – I came away empty handed. I did find another shop who had a pair in the colour I wanted but alas not in my size. They offered to call their other branches this morning to see if they had my size. A phone call in the last hour confirmed my hunch that I was out of Luck. I am back to square one.

Now in desperation I have searched the net and think I have found the very thing. I wonder if I posted them to Granny would she wear them for a day or two to break them in for me.

So what do you think lads, would these heels do something for you?

How was I born?

2007-04-12T13:14:00.000+01:00

Sean goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

You’re Mother and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with her and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine - months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

You got Male!

Then a little later Sean relates this story to his mother and her answer is:

Is it any wonder young people nowadays are so confused?

Now would you agree….

2007-04-11T15:51:00.000+01:00

A day without laughter is a day wasted

Some people, when hearing a joke, smile. A collection of 17 muscles around their mouth contorts and their eyes crease up.
Others laugh. They emit a series of short vowel-like notes, each around 75 milliseconds long, repeated at regular intervals of 210 milliseconds apart.

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old: You grow old because you stop laughing.

Laughter is a funny business. It's part of human behaviour all over the world, irrespective of culture. It takes place whenever two or three people meet informally, when somebody else strokes our feet, when a four-month-old baby sees a familiar smiling face.

Laughter is the music of the heart.

Laughter makes us less stressed, lowers our blood pressure and reduces anxiety. It's more common than sex, eating or singing. And yet it remains one of the least understood aspects
of human behaviour.

Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

Little Time Left

2007-04-10T20:18:00.000+01:00

While reading yet another article on Global warming I am reminded:

“That hundreds of millions of people in the poorest regions of the world will face water shortages, flooding, hunger and disease because of global warming over the coming century.

The report predicts that millions of people in coastal areas, especially small islands and large river deltas, could lose their homes due to flooding and an increase in sea level due to ice melting in Polar Regions and other glacial fields and more intense storms”

Some folk are rather sceptical of these reports and feel that they are put before us by Politicians with nothing better to do! We the little folk are urged to make changes, to use less water, fossil fuels, drive less while our Politicians, Captains of Industry and self appointed Celebrities have no problem leaving large carbon footprints all over the globe.

It is enough to make you doubt these reports…

But I have the proof…

Was it you?

2007-04-10T12:14:00.000+01:00

Some guy has taken the time to write this all down. He calls it the rules from the male side. I wonder if it was my Sin-in-Law?

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cricket, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Would You Like a Coffee?

2007-04-09T12:38:00.000+01:00

Now we all know that Grandad is very fond of drinking coffee. He is forever telling us about his trips down to the village to have some. Maybe Granny refuses to serve it at home……

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her G.P. to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor?

"Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin!"

"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra. Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."

It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who inquired as to
progress.

The poor woman exclaimed, "Oh, Saint Francis tonight! T'was terrible. Just terrible, doctor!"

"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the
effect was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely!

With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"

“Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?"

"Oh, no, no, no, Doctor, the sex was fine indeed! T’was the best sex I've had in 25 years. But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in the village coffee shop again!"

How it all Started

2007-04-08T12:10:00.000+01:00

Since this is Easter Sunday and Blogging folk seem to have a rather loose religious theme I thought I would let you in on Eve's Talk with God

"Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"And why is that Eve?"

"Lord, I'm lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"Man? What is that Lord?"

"A flawed creature, with many bad traits; he'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he'll satisfy your physical needs. He'll be witless and revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, raising one eyebrow, "but what's the catch, Lord?"

"Well, you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that, Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring, so you'll have to let him believe I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret. You know, woman to woman."

Urgent Help Needed

2007-04-07T15:25:00.000+01:00

Nancy where are you? We have not heard from you for such a long time. I am really getting worried because ‘my new best friend’ Granny has not appeared for several days. That ‘ould codger’ Grandad said she had the flu but we all know he is a very jealous man….. He is fighting with Twenty and worse still using ‘Twenty’s’ dreadful language.

Since Granny & Offspring have started to blog he has really tipped over the edge. He claims that Bertie Aheron is digging holes in the lane near his house. In this frame of mind anything is possible.

Is there any chance Nancy of you contacting your friend ‘GW’ and arranging a team of spies to come over and suss things out?

Dario while you have a long weekend to yourself run up the mountain and have a little snoop about. If you ask nicely John of Dublin might bring his camera

Check out the pigsty and the hen house and then make sure Granny is not trussed up and bundled into the hayloft.

I suppose there is a chance she has locked herself away for some peace to get on with her creative writing. She should have come to stay with me as the only men allowed here are toy-boys and I would keep them well away from her! ;)

Now listen Boys, you better watch out as tiddles is on the loose!

Ready for a work-out?

2007-04-06T10:25:00.000+01:00

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10lb potato bags.

Then move up to 50lb potato bags, and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level now.)

After you feel confident at that level, put one potato in each sack.

Little Treasures

2007-04-05T18:49:00.000+01:00

In a comment to my latest Podcast about my Sewing Box, Brianf mentioned ‘a round tin box with an Amish hex sign on it.’ It was where his late mother kept all her sewing needs. One item he had fond memories of was a Darning Ball or Egg.

Typically, darners were in the shape of an egg with an attached handle and were quite handy for darning socks at the heel. Most were made of wood, but more expensive models were made of silver with ivory handles.

It must be about 40 years since I heard of anyone taking time to darn socks, but who knows they might be next years top fashion item! Don’t laugh, over the past few years we have had torn or slashed clothes, seams on the outside and even underwear worn over the top of clothing!

Brianf’s comment made me think of some little items I have collected over the years and consider to be my treasures. None of them are of any great material value but when I handle them they bring the previous owner a little closer to me.

A silver spirit level which measures 3” long in old money, but for the young folk out there who never used inches lets say it is 7.5cms long. This object belonged to my late husband and was well used over the years. I keep it to hand and still make use of it.

Next I have a ladies Mother of Pearl penknife. Compared to penknives today it is rather ancient. It has two simple blades and that’s it. I sometimes carry this in my handbag it comes in handy for peeling fruit.

A Tuning Fork that belonged to my father’s eldest sister. She was a Primary School Teacher and the lady who gave me my love for sewing. I might talk more about her in a blog someday.

Going the full circle I come back to the sewing theme. I have a wooden spool from Leek in Staffordshire, England. These early spools were refillable. You sent back the empty spools and paid the fee to have a new supply of thread.

Now what do you consider to be your special treasures?

My Sewing Box

2007-04-04T13:59:00.000+01:00

School Lessons

2007-03-26T10:43:00.000+01:00

History in the Making

2007-03-25T12:35:00.000+01:00

On Sunday 17 July 1904 at the Showgrounds at An Umaimh, twenty-four shy young women, all pioneers in skirts that trailed the ground, lined up in two teams of twelve for the first Camogie Game ever played. It was a slow, very slow game of camogie because of those skirts and because the girls had little practice with the camans. In fact the rules were made as the game went along because not all the rules for men’s hurling were suitable for Camogie.

The teams were from Dublin; Keatings and Cuchullains. That day was born an Irish game for Irishwomen. It was a modified form of hurling suitable for women. The name in Irish “camoguidheacht” derives from camog, the irish for a turned stick.

Not all agreed with the game, tongues whispered: “Imagine women playing a rough game like that.”

This is a true story My Maternal Grandmother was one of those women. Is it any wonder then that my Elly went on to play Rugby?

On one occasion she played on an all male team against an all male team! That is her story and she might share it with you some day!

The picture shows the members of the Keating team. My Grandmother is sitting first left in the front row.

How to stay married!

2007-03-25T12:11:00.000+01:00

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her wardrobe that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totalling £55,000. He asked her about the contents.

"When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him twice in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

"Darling," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"

Oh," she said, "That is the money I made from selling the dolls."

Understanding English

2007-03-22T19:00:00.000Z

When Nancy was going to Florida, she had a bundle of Euro she needed to exchange, so she went to the currency exchange window at the local bank. The line was short. Just one guy in front of her... an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars, and he was more than a little irritated!

He asked the teller, "Why it change??

Yestoday, I get 2 huna dolla fo yen.

Today, I get huna 80?? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged her shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white people, too!"

I wonder if Nancy managed to change her money?

Our John Chapter 2

2007-03-21T14:54:00.000Z

Our John Chapter 1 was recorded on 14th March 2007. It covers the first fourteen years of his life and some background of the world he was born into.

A Visit to Mary

2007-03-20T19:57:00.000Z

Are You Awake Yet?

2007-03-19T10:23:00.000Z

See if you can figure out what all of the following words have in common:

Banana

Dresser

Grammar

Potato

Revive

Uneven

Voodoo

Assess

Are you peeking or have you already given up?

Give It Another Try.

You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer. Go back and look at them again; think hard.

OK... Here you go....hope you didn't cheat.....

This is cool

SCROLL DOWN

Answer:

In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter & place it at the end of the word....

then spell the word backwards....

it will be the same word.

Did you figure it out? Most people do not.

Warm Thoughts

2007-03-18T11:21:00.000Z

The temperature has plummeted and the windows are white with sleet so I need something warm to concentrate on.

By know you all know I was heading out on a cruise of a 'Lifetime', or should that be for a lifetime... Of course it will have to be later in the year after 'The Wedding'. I can't go anywhere until I have my baby off my hands, sorry that should read, until my darling daughter is married.

Nancy is coming and my new best friend, Granny now wants to bring some friends on the cruise. Do you think she will have plenty of spending money?

Maybe if we bring Grandad he will pay all the bills. Since he is a friend of ‘The Commander in Chief -G.W.’ he must be loaded!

Now would you like to meet my travelling companions?

My friend Nancy

Grannymar

Granny

Getting ready for the dancing!

Granny’s friends Lulu & Maisie Tea Dancing

Grandad our Token Man

Sobered up yet?

2007-03-18T09:44:00.000Z

Can you read this?

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

I have trouble reading when the letters are in the correct order, yet I was able to read this first time

Are you well oiled?

2007-03-17T16:12:00.000Z

One Sunday morning a neighbour discovered that someone had spray painted red all around the sides of this new Black car. He was very upset and was trying to figure out what to do since nothing was open until Monday morning.

Another neighbour came out and told him to get his WD-40 and clean it off. It removed the unwanted paint without harming the paint job on the car.

Water Displacement #40. The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and de-greaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a "water displacement" compound.
They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40. The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect atlas missile parts.

Here are some of the uses:

1) Protects silver from tarnishing.
2) Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3) Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4) Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making it slippery.
5) Keeps flies off cows.
6) Removes lipstick stains.
7) Loosens stubborn zippers.
8) Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
9) Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
10) Removes tomato stains from clothing.
11) Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
12) Keeps scissors working smoothly.
13) Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes
14) Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
15) Removes splattered grease on the cooker.
16) Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
17) Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
18) Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
19) Removes all traces of duct tape.
20) Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve
arthritis pain.

The favourite use in the state of New York - WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.

P. S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL.

P. P. S. Keep a can of WD-40 in the kitchen. It is good for oven burns or any other type of burn. It takes the burned feeling away and heals with NO scarring.

Happy St Patrick's Day

2007-03-17T06:03:00.000Z

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;

BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

I forgot to tell you…

2007-03-16T16:55:00.000Z

A few weeks ago I was away for a few days it was a quiet break in the country. I went out walking one morning, and lo and behold, who do you think I saw? Now I pulled the scarf tightly under my chin and kept my head down. Over a wall between a chicken run and a pigsty I saw Him – yes the one and only Grandad. I was sure it was himself by the way he was muttering. I stooped down behind the wall to listen to what he was saying.

It went like this:

“I'm the life and soul of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I'm very good at opening childproof caps... with a hammer.
I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.
I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over...
I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not nearly as cute as mine.
I'm so cared for --- long term care, eye care, private care, dental care.

I'm not really grouchy,

I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids and Toyota commercials, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can't seem to remember right now.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
I'm having trouble remembering simple words like.......

I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen?
I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?
And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?

I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the key to the storeroom door.”

Our John Chapter 1 - Early life

2007-03-14T14:15:00.000Z

Pitman's bath in front of the range, the round oven is set into the wall on the right.
A clean shirt hangs ready and warming.

Them & Us

2007-03-14T10:48:00.000Z

Most of the time I like young people, I even gave birth to one!

But I also remember the day when:

"grass" was mowed,

"coke" was a cold drink,

"pot" was something your mother cooked in and

"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.

"Aids" were helpers in the School Principal's office,

"chip" meant a piece of wood,

"hardware" was found in a hardware shop and

"software" wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap…

Today we might have television, jet planes, space travel, man has walked on the Moon, spaceships have visited Mars, we even have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing etc. We didn't have those things when we were young; so we invented them,

Now what the hell are you doing for the next generation??

Granny’s Visit 2

2007-03-12T16:58:00.000Z

Granny, when you are coming up to stay with me I would like you to pay particular heed to your mode of dress. My neighbours are rather genteel and since most of them are in their nineties you might say they were a little conservative.

Despite what you may have seen on the streets where you live, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided at all costs:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. A pierced tongue and dentures

3. Miniskirts and support hose

4. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

5. Speedo's and cellulite

6. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

7. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

8. Bikinis and liver spots

9. Short shorts and varicose veins

10. Roller Blades and a walker

No Nursing Home for Me

2007-03-12T11:10:00.000Z

Granny’s Visit

2007-03-11T19:35:00.000Z

Granny when you come up to stay with me you better bring the purse. I saw something this afternoon that might make a good little present for Grandad.

California vintners, in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.

It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as...

PINO MORE

My New Best Friend

2007-03-11T15:39:00.000Z

That Grandad fella is very fickle he has more girlfriends than a sieve has holes! I can see why Granny left him for a while. I hope he learned his lesson. Fame does that sometimes. The vanity of him putting boot polish on his hair. He should have used this:

His hair would stay in place and shine like the paint on a sh*t house door on a frosty morning! Serve him right if it never came off! He is no oil painting you know, so she can leave him at home.

Now that Granny doesn’t have all her sorrows to seek, living half way up a mountain no running water with only sheep for neighbours. I have decided to let her be my new best friend. She wants to come and stay with me for a little holiday. Sure that would be a great idea we can sit and have a good old chat.

My House Guest

2007-03-10T14:07:00.000Z

The experience counts

2007-03-10T00:07:00.000Z